does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
