Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
