Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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