I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
