That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
we're making bets on your personal life
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
