is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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