I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Mom said you looked used
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
How does one acquire holy water?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
