i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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