You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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