Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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