I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
