I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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