at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
