Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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