my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
