i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Randomize
