erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
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