My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
