Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
