I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
