Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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