Your dad touched me again.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
