the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
