she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
