I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
