My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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