Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
