i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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