yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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