You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
