her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He passed out mid-signature
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
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He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
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That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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