Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
