Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Such a big mess for such a small penis
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
