How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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