you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
