We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize