I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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