we have officially lost it.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
