Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize