Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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