I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
