He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
