I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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