Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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