Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
