I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
