i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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