Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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