i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize