Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just gargled with NyQuil
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
