I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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