The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
