He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
