Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
