why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
