i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize