The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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